Emotions are dangerous
by trickNtreat
Summary: Boys will be boys and they'll fight over tofu eggs, Star'll giggle at the scene and Raven'll settle for some tea. It's just one of those days. But what'll go right if Star just HAPPENS to offer Raven something for breakfast? YURI/SHOUJO AI. Hiatus
1. Yes, I love it

**Emotions are Dangerous  
**Author: trickNtreat

**REVISED! **17/11/07

**EVERY CHAPTER HAS BEEN EDITED AND PEPPERED WITH UPGRADED PLOT**–it is most advisable that you read from the beginning since the storyline was cropped into better understandable bite size that's easier to digest. Also addition was made to the plot.

That is all, all that is. ;D Thank you for staying with me while I claim that Teen Titans does not have my name on it.  
Please enjoy all the gaily enhanced sensation.

CHAPTER1

----

I've been thinking, is it possible to sit somewhere where you _know_ you belong and be thinking—is this really REALLY what I signed up for?

I'm seeing things as they were but it's just hard to believe, I've changed so much. I've practically changed the basic component of who I was, how I ran, and to be accepted as I have been before…I had at least expected the sun to rise from the west from now on.

---------------

"Hello, my dearest friends! What will be the delightful menu of the morning?" Starfire literally bounced in and bobbed towards the table.

"I ain't even looking at the stuff..." Cyborg turned his head away in grimace when he knew Beast Boy was the cook for the morning.

"Well excuse me if your tin stomach can't take tofu eggs!" cried the ever dignified cook.

Mornings usually were so bright and flamboyant.

"If I have to stay around with you as a cook, I'd rather starve than become a vegetarian! Growing bodies need iron and where do you get this so called nutrient? MEAT!"

"Who eats bloody meat for breakfast?!" Beast Boy shuddered at the word 'meat' to emphasize his belief, "And besides, you don't need to grow anymore than you already are! You're almost as big as-"

"Hey, hey! Stop this quarrelling at once before we have to stop you guys from breaking out another physical combat!" Robin tried to break up the two warring ones with a plate full of tofu eggs still in his spare hand. Starfire looked upon the intriguing argument with awe, and giggled.

Raven stood a far and rolled her eyes at the sight, just then Starfire noticed Raven's minor action and flew towards her. "Morning greetings to you, Raven. How was your nightly rest?"

Raven was almost blinded by Starfire's bright and optimistic ways. She was this much convinced the girl could spontaneously combust if she got any brighter. "Er...if you're asking if I slept well last night, then I'm fine..."

"Oh, wonderful! Now, care to come along and help your famished insides to a healthy pile of tofu eggs with me?"

Raven twitched at Starfire's always unusual way of speech as she edged along to grab her cup, "Um, guess it wouldn't hurt but I'll stick with my tea..."

Starfire didn't seem offended at all by the cold refusal by Raven, instead she smiled and hauled Raven forcefully to the dining table, too bubbly to notice Raven wasn't really airborne like she was. "Herbal tea is good, but as I have learnt the Earthly ways, _egg_ is a better substance to consume in the mornings. Correct?"

"Star...umm, Starfire? STARFIRE!" Raven shouted a bit louder each time over all the fuss coming from the boys, but all was drowned. With nothing to stop her, and nothing to help her, Raven let herself be dragged along by Starfire and be seated rather forcefully.

"Here we go!" Starfire cheerily said and almost too merrily plopped an eyeful of tofu egg onto Raven's plate.

"...thanks, I suppose," Raven stared down at her plate and replied sarcastically. Starfire didn't notice the sarcasm however, and helped some for herself next with, "You are most welcome,"

The verbal and mild physical 'combat' over tofu egg was gradually increasing in the background while Raven dubiously picked up a spoon and poked around the mush suspiciously.

Starfire noticed this and smiled. "Sample some and you shall become to be fond of it. Here!"

Without any warning, Starfire scooped up a spoonful of the mush and forced it into Raven's mouth. Raven's eyes grew to the size of the plate in front of her and swallowed the content painfully.

"Gasp, are-cough, you trying...urgh, to murder-oof!" Raven's attempt at a complaint was cut off by Starfire's another horrid spoonful attack.

"See, you are becoming to like it already," Star smiled innocently and scooped the next spoonful and was ready for another force feeding.

"No! Gulp, I mean, yes. Yes, I _love_ it, let me, cough, enjoy it by myself, in PEACE," Raven thumped her chest, swallowed hard and snatched the spoon away from Starfire, never quite succeeding in glowering at her offender as the girl simply neutralized it with her smile.

Star observed the pale girl opposite her mumble and stab at the plateful of veggie egg fondly while Raven looked to her left and saw the now full fledge physical fight between all three boys and cocked an eyebrow. Then she heard a movement across her and turned her head towards her 'torturer' again.

_'Ah!'_ Raven automatically jerked back when she found Starfire's face which was suddenly magnified, larger or shall we say, closer.

Starfire reached her hand up to the side of Raven's face and made a gentle contact. How could such fragile contact could shake such earthquake in Raven's insides was a mystery. Completely unaware of this, Starfire smiled and rubbed Raven's cheek softly with her thumb and withdrew her hand back.

"I think you are enjoying this a bit too much, friend Raven," Star giggled slightly and showed her thumb which just caressed her cheek with. On it was a smear of tofu.

"Oh," Raven mumbled into her throat and calmed herself. Weird. Such a simple touch, why, any stranger could have done that and she might have not minded. Although, she'd have threatened them till they gave her a good enough excuse on why they touched her in the first place, but this didn't matter at this moment. This awoken feeling was unbearable. Uncomfortable and foreign might have been the words Raven was skirting for.

"Are you...feeling quite alright Raven?" worriedly, Star leaned in again and peered into her face. Suddenly, _that_ feeling rushed back into Raven's heart and made it beat fiercely.

Before she could reply with a, 'I'm fine,', the tofu dishes in front of them exploded and sent the debris everywhere, flinging the dishes and spoons at the three warring ones like bullets. From somewhere near, a kitchen knife flew at full speed and flung itself into the wall, right next to Starfire's head.

Too frightened to scream, Star froze with her eyes wide and hands in mid air. The disaster brought end to the three male titans' war of ripping each other's heads off and all three looked to Raven's direction with Beast Boy and Robin grabbing at Cy's face and ears, while said Cyborg holding up the other two in each hand by their collars.

"Sorry..." Raven managed to mumble and floated silently up the stairs and along the corridors while the door shut automatically behind her, with the rest still staring after her.

_'What's happening to me?'_

----

trickNtreat: Though my skill is not of the best, I'd like to inform you that I try to be. Thank you :D


	2. For your own good

CHAPTER2

**Disclaimer**: I did not create/give birth to/own Teen Titans. Honestly, if I did, I wouldn't be here now would I?

trickNtreat: _'Emotions are dangerous'_. Lame as title right? Haha but I had to use it, Raven used it herself in the episode "Switched" right before she and Star had their real first bonding as friends.

Raven: Maybe you haven't noticed, but my emotions are dangerous. You may have my body (LOL!) but you know nothing about me.

Star: Begin sharing. :)

It was my AWW moment in Teen Titans. xD

----

Have you tried this before? Probably not...then you should try this, right now. Go stand in front of a mirror. Go on. I'll wait.

If you made it to the mirror without being attacked by the ungodly things littered on the floor, you should see yourself. If not, well, then you're an ignorant bastard and you're wasting my time.

Take a moment to try finding what went wrong today and what you could have done to change the situation or yourself. Think about why it went so wrong and...what the cause was. Yeah, yeah I know it's pointless and stupid for some and heck, then you've made me even more stupid for telling you all this, I would have been better off talking to that skeleton in my closet for all I care.

Sigh...and me. I'm just talking to myself here; in a dark familiar room I call my hideout. Thinking back on what happened in the dinning room.

Tofu flying everywhere, Starfire screaming on mute and those three on pause. Wouldn't that have been a sight to see on national TV on Christmas Eve. Teen Titans, their heroes frozen in time while it snows tofu eggs. Though I am curious how much they'd pay for it.

The Teen Titans. They know me as...what do they know me as? Courtesy of that annoying greenish over reacting vegetarian shape shifter, I must be a dark, unsocial, insensitive, impossible...what's the word?

For some reason, the word 'girl' doesn't seem to suit me. Maybe it's too innocent of a word for me.

But wouldn't they be surprised if they knew everything that goes around in my head. Yes, they would.

Wouldn't they be surprised if I introduced them to all the emotions I have, every single one.

I sometimes wish...that I could be just one-self. It sounds strange and maybe even stupid, but...not being driven by all the separate feelings, I could then control myself fully, just one whole being. And sort of, become free shall we say.

If something goes wrong, it triggers something inside me. Chain reaction, my realization; zero. That's what causes all the destruction when I feel either hatred, insecurity, nervousness or...

There was...there was this other feeling I discovered just today. When Star...uh-oh. The mirror's rising from its place. Calm down Raven. Breathe. I place the mirror back down firmly and sit on the edge of my bed.

Closing my eyes and swallowing a deep breath, I could admit even for a split second that the so called 'discovered feeling' isn't all that new to me. It was always there, I knew it subconsciously seeing as how much it bubbled over the rest of my emotions and how much more I had to suppress it to stay dormant.

I think...I think clearing my mind and getting rid of everything which happened today will be useful for me.

I'm not feeling sorry for myself. Oh no, that wouldn't be Raven.

I just...want to be my normal self again, or as normal as I was. That's all and I'm doing this for myself. That's it.

…maybe if I keep telling myself this, I could keep on fooling myself.

-

"Yo, what's up with Miss Herbal Tea?" Beast Boy complained as he scrapped off the last bit of tofu from his hair.

"I dunno. Could it be you?" Cyborg absentmindedly mumbled as he dusted himself.

"What do you mean, me?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just that you're always in her hair and pissing her off and-"

"I do not!"

"Right, you're enough to get me to boil, think what it might do to her,"

"It's not my fault she can't take simple jokes. In fact, she's the only one who _can_ take a joke too seriously,"

"I think it's you who take joking too lightly,"

"WHAT! What do you know about comedy anyway Mr. Tin man, huh _huh_!"

While the fight broke out again, Star pried the knife out of the wall and stared at her reflection. She saw her face distorted in concern. "I do not understand, why is friend Raven so upset? Did I do something wrong?" _Is she allergic to tofu eggs? Then is it not my fault for offering her such substance?_

"No Star, it's not you," having heard her monologue, Robin approached her gently, "She has a lot on her mind. Well, more like 'in' her mind really. You have to know, it's not your fault, least of all," he looked over his shoulder to see the two going at it again, coughed and continued, "See what I mean? Raven's abilities are driven by her emotions, she needs to control it. And with those two around, it's hardly possible.

Just keep repeating to yourself, it's NOT your fault. Raven's not gonna slaughter you or anything because you did absolutely nothing wrong. Understood?"

Slightly brightened Star smiled and replied, "I understand Robin,"

"Good. Now, I'm sorry but could you clean the last bit of this muck? I think I'll have to get Cyborg and BB to sign a peace treaty," Robin mirrored Starfire and smiled, kindly asking a favor.

Star nodded once, still with the same warm smile. "Consider it done!"

-

After clearing the debris in the dining room, Star headed for her own room for a shut-eye when she noticed Raven's door along the way and absentmindedly stopped in front of it. Was that maybe a tiny bit of guilt rising?

_'What should I do? What should I be doing?' _

Starfire nervously stood in front of Raven's bedroom, ready to confront the door.

_'I am going to be okay. Robin has told me so, Raven will not slaughter me because it is not my fault. Not my fault. It is not my fault. Not my fault. Not my fault. My fault. My fault...huh? Eek! Raven, please do forgive me!'_

Star rocked back and forth in mid air and anxiously bit her nails before deciding and raising a fist to hammer the door.

"Something wrong, Starfire?" at the precise moment, before Starfire's fist made it to its obstacle, Raven opened the door and stared calmly at her temporarily frozen visitor.

Star stared at Raven with wide eyes and a hand bent over her head, ready to hit the door. To sum it all up, a very VERY ridiculous pose.

Silence passed and came doubled. Still neither of them broke it or started up a conversation.

Raven gave Star a weird look and said, "Well, aren't you gonna say something or are you here to sing me a Christmas carol?"

"Oh, I am sorry Raven, if I am disturbing your daily routine and interfering or being a nuisance to you in anyway and-"

"Star,"

"Yes?"

"Just get to the point. Ah, and if you were going to ask how I knew you were out here," Raven added as Starfire was about to ask just that, "I heard that last sentence, something about me forgiving you...what ever that's about I have no idea. You really shouldn't go blurting out your private thoughts,"

"Ah! Yes, I am here to apologize for before. The knife did not impale me in the temple by another two inches, so you do not need to feel guilt nor responsible. I ask for your forgiveness on making it hard for you to concentrate on your...um...in your mind,"

Star bowed low courteously and hoped. Hoped that friend Raven will forgive her for everything or anything she might have done wrong against her in her lifetime. She wanted to remain as her close friend.

Instead, a sharp silence came in waves and over whelmed Star. Then it broke it; Raven's cold hard voice.

"Is that all there is? There is nothing to forgive. Now, forget about everything, go get some rest and leave me alone,"

With that, the door once again was closed, leaving Starfire to stare at it in bewilderment for a few seconds. Somehow, she felt worse than before. And all these events resulted into only one thing.

One very crestfallen Starfire bobbing towards her own room.

-

All the while, Raven stood on the other side of her door. Facing it, she leant her forehead against the door and heaved a sigh.

Her insides churned. What the heck did she go and do that for? Why not go hug her, smile and tell her it's not her fault, which is entirely true, and like they say, kiss and make up?

Well now, that wouldn't be sour old Raven who'd preach 'keep emotions in check', 'self-control' and 'think things through before doing anything even if it is just telling a friend it was all her fault and not hers'. That couldn't be a 'Raven' thing to do.

Raven closed her eyes and slid a hand down the door, _'Forgive me Star...this is for your own good.'_

-

The surrounding atmosphere was intoxicated with nerves as Raven entered the dining room the next day. She made her entry as if nothing chaotic went on the day before and sat at her usual spot, with the usual gloomy expression; the expression that said nothing in the world was important and worth noticing.

She opened her fading aged book as usual and started to read idly while the rest of the team gazed at her way.

Beast Boy took turns in looking at the rooted team beside him and the reading Raven and chose it was the right moment for his statement, "I guess...it's safe to say all's well and back to typical.

Now, who's up for breakfast? I'm cooking!"

-

I am ever so anxious. I do not wish to be on friend Raven's bad side. Nobody wishes to.

Indeed, she has told me that 'there is nothing to forgive', but I do still feel somewhat responsible. I have not taken my eyes off from viewing her ever since she has entered from the corner of my eyes.

She looks so alone and most melancholy. I cannot apprehend how or why anyone could become what she is. Just stationed there, so isolated. The same book held in her hands, but her eyes do not read. Her face is present here in this room, but her facial expressions are not.

I wish to do something. Anything. I wish to be on Raven's good side. Everyone wishes so. But I wish the most above all.

Robin was wrong. This matter is my fault.

-

"Damn it BB! Can't anyone ELSE do the cooking around here?"

"My dear Cyborg, don't blow any fuse. At least not around here, you'll ruin my tofu-"

"Don't you say nothing more! I'm sick of smelling, tasting, hearing about or seeing that 'tofu' crap. Anyway, who died and made you the permanent cook?"

Raven rolled her eyes almost automatically and resumed to her book. _'Are these arguments REALLY necessary?'_

"What I don't get is, how come you never put anything to your mouth except disgusting meat. I mean, think of the poor animals. It's animal abuse dude!"

"Well, if you want to protest against it, go tell it to someone in the parliament who cares to listen and who can actually stand your 100 percent non-butchery-policy cooking,"

Turning a page, Raven answered herself, _'I guess so,' _

Just one of those I-care-about-you-but-I'm-showing-it-my-own-little-way charades which Raven thought was really pointless if the point wasn't taken in their-own-little-way. How immature. Though that thought did a back-take and stung her as a hypocrite, which she decided to ignore.

Her concentration had worn off ages ago. She just had the book in front of her so that it looked like she had something to do. Meaning, then no-one could come up to her and start a conversation, because when Raven was with a book, it meant: I'm busy, go annoy someone else. So, it was merely an excuse for not wanting to converse or socialize.

She couldn't concentrate. She tried yesterday; she used all the free time on meditating and the hour before that, and the hour after that and so on. None of them were successful however.

She didn't understand why or how that was possible when all she did in her time was just that, but something in the back of her head told her that it had something to do with the nice little unexpected exploding event of the previous day. Also, with it came Starfire. Raven would push her out to the back of her head like always, but then Star's silhouette just creep back into her thoughts. _'What IS wrong with me...'_

"Um, friend Raven?"

Slowly lifting her head from the cover of the book, Raven looked up at something she wasn't expecting; Starfire. Raven was both a bit annoyed and surprised at the same time. She thought she wouldn't even look at her way after the way she treated her the last time they talked one on one. _That_ was the unspoken plan. But nonetheless, she answered her. "Yes?"

"Er...if I am not of any interruption, I have brought something for you to digest this morning. And with this plate of breakfast, please do try to accept my apologies altogether," Starfire hung her head, screwed her eyes shut and literally shoved the plate into Raven's face.

_'Apologies?'_ Raven was bewildered for a moment and stared at the plate underneath her nose containing tofu, cereal, eggs, half hydrated porridge and up at the girl offering it.

Out of nowhere, anger boiled in Raven. Who the hell was she to be accepting apologies from someone she ought to be apologizing to? Raven, she was the one who caused her, Starfire, to feel guilty at nothing—and yes, her little emotional problem did count as nothing apparently. She couldn't let herself to accept her apologies, or any apology for that matter.

AND why did this girl had to be so _nice_? Raven already told her it was not her fault, or any of her business, but she kept budging in and making it seem as if it was only obvious to feel guilty and responsible for something she had no blame for, what-so-ever.

Raven couldn't stand this. This just had to stop.

"I thought I told you...that it's not your fault!" Raven flung the plate in front of her out of Starfire's grip with the back of her hand while her eyes glowed white menacingly. The plate bounced and skid a good few yards away from them, spilling out the contents everywhere as it slid along.

Starfire's wide eyes were filled with anything remotely relating to hurt, rejection and...rounding back to hurt.

Raven couldn't stand it.

She was causing Starfire pain. For no reason. What-so-ever. And it all came out the wrong way, out of control.

"But-"

"NO! Stop being like this. I'm fine. Can't you see? This is not, your, FAULT!"

As Raven emphasized the last word of the shouted sentence, everything in the room was engulfed in black energy and started to vibrate and shudder. Then before it was too late, Robin came rushing in and grabbed Raven by her shoulders and gently shook her, "Whoa, Raven. Stop. What's going on here?"

All of a sudden, the whole room they were occupying fell silent and the dangerously shaking objects were also silenced. Beast Boy was trying to get loose from Cyborg's iron grip, while trying to beat him with a wooden spoon in one hand before Raven's outrage froze everything. It was a strange kind of deja vu.

"You alright? Both of you?" Robin turned from Raven to Starfire while Raven slowly turned her back on them and pulled her hood up.

"Yeah, we're alright-" Beast Boy started but was cut off by Cyborg's nudging elbow followed by a loud whisper forced through his clenched teeth.

"Shush, he didn't mean us, you embarrassment to Mother Nature,"

"Hey! Look who's- ak!" Beast Boy started to object, when the nudging elbow again cut him off.

Not at all influenced by the violation she just received from Raven, Starfire moved for the said girl a step and placed a hand on her shoulder with a soft, "Raven? Are you...alri-"

Raven jerked her shoulder out of Starfire's grip and said coldly without turning back to face her, "I said, I'm fine,"

With that, Raven floated soundlessly to the door, her head hung just a bit, enough to cover away most of her face, and her emotions, feelings.

"Raven..." Starfire gazed after her with sad eyes, with her hand still out stretched where Raven's shoulder was present just a few moments ago.

"Raven," a stronger and firmer voice sounded and stopped Raven from continuing on through the exit, "I don't know what just happened here, and I won't ask if you don't want to explain,"

A moment of sheer silence poured over them until Robin continued his speech, "Just remember, we're all friends here. We won't hurt you or criticize you for who you are. We know you well enough, as our friend and teammate. If you need help, just ask for it. Okay?"

Raven turned her head just slightly, her face still well hidden, nodded only barely noticeably and continued through the opening until the door closed behind her and shielded her out of everyone else's sight.

Another quick moment of quiet came and the next, everyone heaved a sigh. Either of relief that there wasn't as much damage or mess as last time or just out of worry.

Star made the first movement and went up to the upended plate on the floor Raven has so carelessly and effortlessly flung away. She bent down to pick it and the now inedible food up. All the while, she said not a word. _'Raven...what did I do so wrong to upset you so? What is happening to you?'_

Robin came and stood behind her, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder, just like what Starfire had done to Raven.

"You okay?"

Without turning around, she replied weakly while staring into the messy plate in her hands, "Yes...yes, I am unhurt. I shall manage. It is...alright,"

"I don't know what's suddenly got to her, but I think she'll be okay. Just give her some space,"

"But..." Star trailed off hopelessly, unable to understand anything.

Beast Boy finally got himself loose from Cyborg and voiced, "Dude, it's one of those phases she's going through. She'll be fine,"

"Let's just hope it's nothing too big," Robin half whispered and gave Star's shoulder a gentle squeeze before letting it go.

Cyborg scratched his head in confusion and said, "Man...I've never seen Rae go loose like this. Never, not even in battles, not even the one with that Dr. Light. She wasn't herself then, but…this time I'm sure there was nothing freaky possessing her. She kinda surprised me, what with the, 'This is not, your, FAULT!' Now, what was that about?"

Beast Boy followed pursuit on scratching his head and added, "Yeah, I didn't know she could actually _do_ long talks."

-

trickNtreat: I realized...in most RavenxStar, Robin and Raven are rivals and engaged in a fierce war, also/or Raven is almost ALWAYS depressed/heart-broken/cries nonstop/grieves because she can't express her feelings for Star. And if she somehow does, Starfire just HAPPENS to return the feeling. Robin's ditched and crying in a corner somewhere. Or finds another girl to drool over. Poof, suddenly a happy ending:D

I'm not flaming nothing, but I guess I just want something original. Different. So that's why this fic is here. (shame _I_ have to write it…)

Hope nobody here has any objection to that. Though I really can't say, seeing as I'm still an amateur plotter.


	3. She named it, Raven

CHAPTER3

Author: trickNtreat

trickNtreat: Cy and BB hog the drama in this story, I've concentrated their arguments so much that it's almost out of character but I love those guys and I want to give them lil screen time of their own. Even if it has to be in a completely idiotic and pointless manner. : )

----

It is such a wondrous day. The bright star which illuminates the Earth is positively blazing down. Glorious.

Everyone thinks the so called 'hanger', or the garage, which stores vehicles such as Cyborg's 'baby' and the T-Rocket is dull. But if one should just open the wide exiting door, this place has to be the most ideal place for a day such as today. Besides, my dear friends will not expect to find me here. It is not because I do not wish to be accompanied by them, but just to feel and ponder about certain things. Such as, Raven.

I sigh. What more can I do? I have tried to make her happy. Breakfast always seemed to cheer up my other friends, why not her? Why does she not accept my apologies? Why can I not make her juvenile as any others? Why does she dislike me so?

Drawing my knees closer to my chest I stare out the wide opening into the azure mass called the sky. Earth is indeed wonderful. If only everything worked just as wonderful.

It has been strangely peaceful, with no crime present for couple days. With only tranquility as my surrounding, I count the little specks of white cotton floating in the sky. Called 'clouds' I presume. Earthly language is also fascinating. It rolls off the tongue and ends almost as if it melts between the lips or fizzing up the nose.

I smile to myself as I count off my seventh cloud with my index finger. Eight.

Oh, a strangely tinted cloud. Nine. It is...gray? Is it an augur of a storm? Then I must close the opening immediately before any rain can flood in the hanger and ruin anything precious to Cyborg. I stand up to do so, when the gray cloud begins floating towards the tower. It looks as if-- the gray flying object is now piloting towards the opened hanger door. Towards me. I judge on the fact that it is not a cloud.

It has to be an opponent. It is too late to call for my friends. I will have to battle with it alone, for the moment being.

It is closer, and closer and closer yet. I ready myself. Nobody shall hurt my friends.

Before I can direct my assault, the enemy suddenly gains speed and flies into my face. It makes a horrible screeching noise, making me screech with it.

I struggle as my visual abilities are blocked out by the animal. Double taking, I trip over something which makes a lot of noise when it is careened. I am judging it was the tool box but at the moment, nothing seems more important than getting rid of the horrid thing off my face. In rushed attempt I try and use my eye beams, but this creature is more intelligent than it appears to be. Everytime I attack with the beams, it dodges out of harms way and plasters itself back onto my face, screeching louder each time and disabling even my hearing abilities.

I am horrified. Without knowing what I am doing, I lay a punch onto it. It dodges yet again, resulting me to see little blinking lights, blurred by water substance forming at the edge of my eyes and leaving a sore and stinging nose. I am now fighting it off with all my strength, but with no prevail. This rancid creature cannot be a part of this wonderful earth. And it is too intelligent for any earth creature, that is what I decide.

I cannot. I must not give in. I kick, I scream, I fire, I bite, I flail my arms as best I can to place a decent range between us so I can attack successfully. But it knows my plans. And it is not going to fall for it. While it clings more and more to my face, more and more of my energy is being lost through my poor attempts at defending myself and my friends. More time passes and I am not the one on the victorious side.

I am exhausted. I cannot stand up against it much longer. I take what seems to be my last swing, after that, everything inside me feels as if it is draining out. My eyes sting. My arms fail at my side and my knees give up. I collapse onto the cold floor. I have failed you friends.

The creature circles for a moment then lands on my head, triumphantly screeching more at my fall. Now it shall devour my head as its victory feast. I presume.

Farewell, friends.

Oh and please, forgive me Raven...

-

Both the heads of the half robot's and the changeling's turned away from the gigantic screen to face each other, for something had come through their sensitive ears.

"Did you hear-" Cyborg started the conversation.

"Yeah, did you?" Beast Boy cut him off and asked the same, pointing at his companion -slash-opposition.

"I heard," Cyborg rolled his eyes, "That's why I asked in the first place,"

The little green boy just made a face and rotated his head to where the noise might have come from.

Silence.

Nothing.

They slowly turned their heads so they faced each other and their blank face distorting into malicious grin, returning their concentration on the insanity of gawking at the hypnotizing screen and pressing away at the console in their hands.

Life was sweet.

Very.

Seconds passed. Then came the minutes. Then hours.

Neither of them gave up on the virtual battle even as the night fell and if one should lose, he'd say 'One last round, just one!'. Repeating and again to a never-ending cycle of madness. Until they heard the door leading down to the hanger slide open.

After they greeted whoever it was with no interest, they paid no more heed and carried on. Until they heard...absolutely nothing. Cyborg and Beast Boy looked back, expecting to see one of their fellow teammates, but their expectation failed; instead there was just the blankness of the living room.

If it was Robin, they'd surely have heard his footstep stepping into the living room. Then his complaining about them still going on at it and demanding his turn.

But that didn't happen.

If it was Starfire, they'd surely, surely, have heard her always cheerful reply, and maybe an introductory to a Tamaranian activity.

But that didn't happen.

If it was Raven, they'd have heard no reply, no footsteps, seeing as she was always ever silent, but would have heard the opening of the next door she would go through to get to her room or her muttering something about turning the volume down.

But that didn't happen either.

Thinking suspiciously both looked at each other again and nodded. They stood up slowly and decided to approach with caution, fully armed. Whatever this thing was, it was asking for it for ruining a perfect piece of heaven; virtual sensation.

Peeking an eye from the current corner Cy and BB were standing with their backs on, they sighed with relief and dropped their guards. Starfire.

"It's only you. What's up Star?" Cyborg stepped out from his hiding spot and greeted the red headed Tamaranian once again.

The said young alien looked nervous. No, she was in a mess! Her crimson hair was out of control, frizzing out of their normal straight position. Her face had minor but numerous scratches on her face. Her nose was redder tinge than her skin, as if punched good and hard.

Looking her up and down, Beast Boy cocked his head to one side and spoke, "Um, what happened?"

Laughing a nervous laugh while scratching the back of her head, Starfire rambled on, "What has happened was nothing- I mean, nothing has happened. I was merely just em...repairing something of my disrepaired Tamaranian devices and the tools I have used were quite violent so... Hehehe..."

Cyborg and Beast Boy shared a questioning look, raised eyebrows then shrugged.

"Alright, if you say so. But we should get you patched up, come on Star-" Cyborg turned his back and signaled with his hand to follow him.

"No! No, it is alright. Honest! You should return to your playing of games, I am fine," Star laughed her little nervous laugh continuously while Cyborg and Beast Boy just stood, stared and exchanged further looks. However, they decided it wouldn't be anything big if the ever open Starfire was refusing to share the issue with them and so, naturally, they resumed to their 'playing of games'.

But...

"Hey Star? What's behind your back?" curiosity got the better of him and the green boy asked, giving up the race to the screen.

Starfire squeaked and stopped her attempt at reaching the other door across the room immediately at the question. Currently she was half way there and was walking side ways, keeping her back well out of the boys' sight. More noticeably, she kept a hand behind her back.

"Um...it is...it is..." the desperate girl stuttered in search of the right coverage. Automatically she scratched her head with her free hand.

Cyborg raised an eyebrow at the strange action the girl was taking and thought she needed some help on finishing her sentence. So he did, "It's that Tamaranian device?"

The green eyes of Starfire's lit up with gratitude and relief, "Yes! It is the device which needs to be hidden from any...any...non-Tamaranian's eyes. Its sight is very damaging to those who are not Tamaranian, it shall...result you um, to become blind for all eternity,"

Then came something not expected.

_Squawk!_

"And it...squawks?" Beast Boy's eyes grew to the size of a frying pan as he questioned.

"Ah...I am sure it does," Starfire was having difficulty in restraining whatever that was behind her back, and talked through clenched teeth and stressed syllables as she used all her efforts and hands on taming the device concealed behind her back.

All the while Starfire was inching towards the door and two or three more strides would get Starfire through the door and into the corridor and out of suspicious gaze. Mere two or three. Just two or three more...

Just as Starfire lifted her foot for the last stride, something blue flew out from the door. It bumped into the Tamaranian, causing her to stumble and let go of the secretive thing she held out of sight. It screeched happily at the release and the gray thing flew around the living room, resulting Cyborg to dive for cover behind the couch and dragging Beast Boy along with him by his cuff.

"Starfire! Make it stop!" Cyborg shouted over the screeching with his head covered by his arms. Beast Boy had his legs over his head and whined something like, "I don't want to lose my sight!"

The airborne thing circled twice before fluttering down onto Cyborg's forearm, screeching more still.

Mayhem ensued.

Cyborg yelled as if his life depended on it and ran around the room to chase away the devil hovering over him, his eyes still shut and barging into everything and anything in his way.

At Cyborg's ear splitting scream, Beast Boy opened his eyes without knowing. The moment he realized his eyes were open, he squeaked, expecting his sight to be lost forever when his eyes met the devilish flying object. The only thing he could do next was--

Laugh at the sight before him.

At the sudden cackling laughter, Cyborg stopped abruptly and slowly opened his eyes to navigate what could be possibly funny at a time like this. He squinted at the form of Beast Boy rolling on the ground and shedding tears of pure mirth, then at anxious Starfire who was constantly rocking on her feet in midair, then at a down right irritated Raven. Then at the...the...

His arms dropped at his side like a puppet's. He couldn't believe that he was running for his life, being chased by a...

Bird.

-

"Wow. This is a peregrine Star, a rare one too," Beast Boy asked while poking at the obviously agitated bird.

Cyborg snorted and mumbled out of pouted lips, "Who cares..."

The previous show Cyborg had put on was humiliating to haunt him oh, maybe a few months at least.

Beast Boy sniggered and kept on poking and jabbing away at the gray bird, "Don't be a sour loser Cy. This guy kicked your butt good,"

At the insanity of all, Cyborg shook slightly while his face lit up with embarrassment. That little thing was asking for it, big time.

Beast Boy's permanent poking stopped as Cyborg stomped and towering over to him. The bird took this interruption sweetly and flew contently towards its former master, Starfire, leaving Beast Boy vulnerable and defenseless. However the changeling was saved by Starfire who spoke, "This 'peregrine' creature came through the hanger door. Why is it present in suburban area? What should I name him? May I...keep him?"

"Correction," coughed Beast Boy, "He's a...she,"

Raven just sighed at the stupidity and finally turned to get what she wanted. Her tea.

The newly found pet bird was on Starfire's shoulder and looking about the room, taking in the sight of its new home. Its eyes found itself on Raven, who was waiting for the water to boil.

Raven blinked a few times in wonder and scowled back at the yellow eyes. They stared. Until the hawk like bird screamed and unexpectedly glided over to her, landing on her head and pecking at the gemstone on her forehead.

"Argh!" Raven waved her arms frantically as she tried to get the creature off of her. But, as Starfire presumed, it was smart. It would hover over her head while her arms were flailing and sat back down when her arms came to a rest. Forget the tea, Raven flew across the room to place the bird as far away from her as possible. But, as it is known, birds can fly also.

"Please, Raven. If we just-" unable to figure what to do without getting on Raven's nerves, Starfire stood with arms jutting out in front of her and stared after the two flying.

"If we merely just- stop. Please we can-Raven!" her head keep turning to the direction they were speeding back and fro. When her lectures weren't helping at all, she decided to follow after them and stop them physically, everything public to the eyes of the two boys.

"Would you look at that, we're not the only ones," Cyborg returned to his collected self and looked on a bird and a Starfire chasing after a Raven with awe.

"Yeah yeah," Beast Boy glued his eyes back onto the screen and carried on tapping at his controller as he retorted impatiently for Cyborg to pick up where he left off, "Everybody loves Raven,"

-

What good's it gonna do? Tsk, running away from a bird. So I stopped. And speaking of which, the peregrine's on my shoulder. Grr, it'll be easier to ignore if it didn't keep nipping my ear. Suddenly I wish all birds had no beaks and claws, they're digging in my shoulder and they've made hideous marks on Starfire's face, which is gone now, seeing as I healed her. Even though she refused.

Sigh, she's treating me like I'm an explosive that's going to go off at her touch.

She's perfectly right.

I have a solution that'll solve all this, it's risky but I'm going to try it out anyway. Anytime soon.

Meantime, everyone's back to their own selves and doing their own things. Cyborg and Beast Boy are getting along quite well, which is...surprising to say the least. It's as if the constant bickering and arguing is their own random way to show they appreciate each other. Though I wouldn't understand their oh-so-stupid-yet-supposedly-manly method of friendship. Robin's back from training or scoping out the latest news on Slade or whatever Robin thing he does, and now listening to Starfire go on about her 'discovery'. All this I observe above the rim of my tea mug I'm drinking out of.

This bird is really getting on my nerves. It even drinks out of my mug, eats off my plate and it just won't come off. Lucky me, I've got a second shadow. It's a known fact that peregrines like to annoy ravens, but this is just plain absurd.

Ah, and that reminds me.

Starfire finally decided on its name. A ridiculous name.

A clue. Whenever she calls it, we both turn around to answer her. I, 'what?' and it, 'squeak'.

She named it, urgh…

Raven.

Again, lucky me.

-

Cool night air breathed into Starfire's room, through an inviting open window of Titans Tower. The said girl lowered herself tiredly into her bed and her pet bird settled _her_self, as Beast Boy found out, next to Starfire's shoulder as her head was hanging off the edge of the bed, a position she found very comfortable. It certainly wasn't an Earthly thing to do, but in the privacy of her own room, Starfire wanted to keep some things unchanged.

Starfire giggled as her 'Raven' cooed softly in her throat and snuggled up to her, trickling her bare shoulder with those fine gray feathers.

"Yes, I take a liking to you too," Starfire whispered to the bird as if she could understand it as it could understand her and stroked the peregrine on her head. She didn't really have a reason why she decided to call the thing 'Raven'. It just suited it. Or maybe Starfire was wishing too hard on friend Raven being closer to her that she named the one thing that'll be the closest to her; her new pet bird. Looking into the half closed sleepy eyes of the hawk like animal, Starfire sighed and wished on something in a just awake mumble, "If only friend Raven was as friendly as you are, Raven..."

The bird simply raised its head a little, cocked its head and stared at its master falling asleep. When it was sure she was deep in slumber, it too gave away its guard and closed its eyes.

Rare glow of night seemed to illuminate even more eerily against the bright shades of pink of Starfire's interior. The thick curtains waved this way and that along with the wind, adding spooky effects to the surrounding.

All was quiet and tranquil when a stronger breeze blew in with a soft, soft tune. Like stream flowing in a distance of a dense forest, like beatings of a hummingbird, like a ballad of a guitar strumming in the hands of a lover.

Like someone whistling.

The unfamiliar and strange unearthly tune weaved high and low, up and down, tensed and relaxed. At this sound, the yellow-golden eyes of a certain gray peregrine snapped open, its wings fluttered and flew out the window without hesitation, following the song as if under someone's control.

It sailed through the night, an eerie night where one could expect the unexpected. The creature seemed to fly endlessly until it came to a rest on a dark figure's waiting arm.

The figure stood on a shabby building, in the darkest outskirt of the city where the light never shone after sunset. Judging by the long hair which had lost its color in the darkness, and by the robust curves it was a woman. A young woman. The outline of the feminine silhouette smirked as the creature on her forearm squawked and croaked quietly into her ear, occasionally chuckling and encouraging the bird.

When the creature finished its share on the gossip, the figure stroked it one last time and set the creature back towards the tower, even more excited smirk on her mysterious face. She looked on the bird's form getting smaller until it disappeared into the same window it emerged from. Turning around, she stepped into a tenser shadow, where it dissolved her form completely out of sight. From the depths of the unknown came a seductive and manipulative voice the titans could never forget...

"It seems we're going to party again sooner than you realize. I can't wait..."

----

trickNtreat: Haha, even if this is StarRae, it's only natural to put some attention to the others around them right? After all, they are teammates. Besides, from here on the lime light will be on them mostly. Don't you just love me? XD


	4. What are you afraid of

CHAPTER4

Author: trickNtreat

trickNtreat: Wow, I've babbled a lot in my past…I'll make it up by shutting up more often and writing more constantly. Thank you for your utterly kind support!

----

The figure was back. On the same spot, never changing, always watching. She observed the titans' daily lives through the eyes of her spy, which had managed to gain trust of every single one of them as the official pet of the red headed Tamaranian.

The stranger had to give credits for a certain stubborn sorceress who suspected a lot, thought a lot, and talked a little. She was the last and final one to trust her little innocent spy. Honestly, did it have to take two whole weeks to accept a pet in without suspicion?

Nonetheless, the sorceress was lessening the hesitation on trusting the bird, which was a relief to the 'user' of it. The well built grey falcon like predator always kept eyes on every titan, from when the horizon lightened up till when it darkened and it would report everything its eyes took in to its owner every once in a while in the dead of night, flying mesmerized towards the sound of unearthly whistling call. Its stories, the titans' daily life journal, would bring great enthusiasm into the untrustworthy stranger.

Thus, this night wasn't any different.

The form of a girl stood where she'd always would and stared at the Titans Tower from the exact same view point, only her eyes moving and alive. While they lulled about, tracing the tower, the so called Starfire's dear pet just sat on her shoulder and softly squawked away into her ears—speaking away their secrets, their vulnerable points.

Speaking away its betrayal.

It made the girl happy.

She made a noise so much like an excited chuckle and walked dangerously close to the edge of the high construction she was standing on and sat down, letting her legs carelessly swing off the edge. When both fell silent, indicating the bird was done on its share, the girl pointed at the tower with her index finger and counted softly down the windows until it got to the area she was particularly interested in. A small mischievous smirk reached her mouth as she spoke without turning to her companion on her shoulder, whose gaze was on the certain window also, "Good job, Fallen Star. Now...tell me more about, _Raven_,"

-

Raven felt insecure. Raven feeling insecure was indeed a dangerous thing. Raven feeling anything at all in the first place was dangerous. Raven must not feel a thing.

How could she convince herself to be secure when everyone else around her treated her with extra caution she never got used to. They were afraid something inside her would snap and send the whole world to its demise. Afraid a part of her would come loose and destroy all their prized possessions. Afraid she herself was losing it and maybe total darkness and devastation would be the last thing they'd ever see.

They just never understood.

Just because of the fact that she was different. Just because everything she felt was a total threat if not in check. Just because she was from somewhere else. Just because she was the daughter of the most loathed creature in the whole of existence.

Just because she slipped and fell in love.

Of course, she didn't know this. Not a clue. She had no time for love, had no time in understanding to feel it in full. Had no heart to let it in. That's what she convinced herself with.  
Love wasn't something in her life; it meant something the others around her dealt with, never her. Sure she felt for her teammates, but never _love_. Just care and mutual platonic-like, never ever serious_ love_.

However, now she was a part of the majority and met love, most unexpectedly, but there was no way Raven would understand what it is she was aching over. She just thought it was some bizarre kind of mood swing. Symptoms of severe flu. Food poisoning. Lack of food. Tea poisoning? Impossible. Her healing powers were incredible to say the least.

So what was wrong with her? What was happening to her? She thought it over and over without any outcomes she liked. She became anxious at the fact that maybe her father's genetics were kicking in and taking over, taking away her control, the one thing she had and which could make or break her.

Soon just thinking about it and worrying over it was dangerous enough to explode small ornaments. She was on the verge of believing that she was going nuts herself. She felt unstable, miserable and eyes. She felt those eyes. Always watching and observing from somewhere and always relentless. This isn't possible, was all Raven told herself. Who could be watching her? Who would want to watch her.

Raven groaned as she collapsed backwards onto her bed with her hands covering and rubbing at her eyes, frustrated. Confusion and anxiety stirred in her as she sensed the strange yet familiar glare on her from somewhere. She sighed and plopped her arms on her side carelessly. At least she wasn't alone. She was never alone these days and she found it quite soothing, awkwardly. If only it could sooth away all the other feelings…

She was doing a lot of feeling lately. It was foreign to her and she didn't quite know what to do with them. It brought her mood down even more— felt even more depressed than her usual self which she admitted wasn't good for her health.

If someone who could tell her what it was she was feeling was here. Explaining and assuring it wasn't a side effect of her father's attempt at his usual world domination or anything she'd die from. Angst, dark and depression were a part of her but she didn't want to 'kick the bucket' and wouldn't try and do so in a hurry.  
Death was the only trail her father left behind. Death was pointless and stupid. Suicide wasn't an exception either. So dying out of this misery was out of the question. The only thing she was capable of preventing any danger to her mates was to keep clear off the one she reacted to, the one which set dangerous fire deep within. Being able to do nothing but that drove Raven insane, just stepping back and cowardly doing nothing else.

"What have you done to me?" _Starfire…_

This was getting serious. Day by day, Raven could feel the something twitching and growing nearer and nearer to the surface. She had to do something and quick. Positioning herself upright, Raven scoffed sarcastically at her one and only dumb conclusion and spoke to herself and the unknown watcher she felt, "You know what, maybe I should have gotten rid of it ages ago...but I'll be stupid and leave it just a little bit more,"

They could call her crazy, she didn't care for the moment being. She kind of liked the things she felt.

-

"Have you seen Raven?"

Starfire asked as she made her way through the sliding doors and into the lounge where the three male titans were doing their normal ordinary Earthling activities such as reading, eating and tapping away crazily at a device.

"Which Raven?" Beast Boy had some sense left in him and asked behind his shoulder at Starfire, as he put down the controller in his hands and headed for the kitchen to satisfy his stomach.

Star made an absentminded flapping gesture with each hand beside her head, "Um, the one that is able to fly,"

Cyborg came out from behind the fridge door for a moment to watch Starfire's rather amusing flapping gesture then buried his head again, rummaging through and talking into the fridge, "That counts both of them. Next clue?"

Getting irritated, Starfire almost yelled out of impatience, "Oh, _MY_ Raven!"

"Ah...I thought I saw it last...only last night. Why? Ain't she with you? I thought it slept in your room," Cyborg replied as he reappeared with a soda can in one hand and a gigantic ham roll in the other. He kicked the fridge door shut just as Beast Boy moved in for his turn at rummaging— gaining a look from the green skinned titan who just growled and opened it again as Cy grinned and taking a mighty munch from the ham roll in his right hand.

Starfire watched the drama for awhile before rubbing at her arm out of concern. She only had 'Raven' for a few hours, half a day at the most. But both had grown used to each other's companionship that Star couldn't feel quite alright without an extra weight and sharp claws on her shoulder.

As from another planet, she didn't understand many things the Earthlings did but as time went by, she grew accustomed to the different way of things. Such as privacy and personal space. On Tamaran, everyone shared within the community; 'what is mine is yours, what is yours is mine' was the oldest saying left imprinted in her head. Tamaranians were friendly and trusting, innocent, almost naive beings who loved to share with their loved ones and never afraid to show their feelings in the public. They hugged and kissed whenever they thought it was necessary, which was very occasionally. And with the same passion they protected. They stayed in one big loving community and had no history of starting up a civil war or stealing from anyone.

Starfire gently floated to the gigantic window and looked to the horizon with sadness held in her eyes. Staring blankly for a moment, Star opened one of the windows and flew out, shutting it back behind her. Floating up to the top of the tower, she continued to gaze down at the modern city she and her teammates often saved.

Earth was so very much different. There were strife between friends, Raven and herself would be an example. Friends bickered and never apologized, Beast Boy and Cyborg would be another example. She missed her home planet greatly. She missed those ways. The way everyone apologized almost immediately and almost immediately forgiven. That everyone got along.

The Tamaranian girl closed her eyes, not wanting her building tears to overflow. She let out a trembling sigh as she controlled herself and thought of all her friends and families she'd left behind for her and Earth's protection. Her mind stopped at a certain raven haired kin of hers. Out of memory she whispered, "Of course...there was an exception..."

-  
_(Raven's POV...her daily-mental-note taking.)_

-Breakfast:  
Tofu Eggs, Soy milk. _Again.  
__-Status:  
_Didn't eat.  
_-Alternative:  
_Herbal Tea.  
_-Situation:  
_Cyborg dangerously pissed, Beast Boy equally pissed, Robin tired, Star...content.

-Meditation:  
Normal posture; legs crossed, hands above knees, eyes closed, chanting.  
_-Status:  
_Tried to pay full concentration. Failed.  
_-Alternative:  
_Reading.  
_-Situation:  
_Bickering Cyborg and Beast Boy, Robin anxious, Star...happy.

-Lunch:  
Anything left in the draws, fridge, oven, bin etc.  
_-Status:  
_Got offered something dubious from Beast Boy. Something with lint, slime and whatnot.  
_-Alternative:  
_Small piece of _clean_ bread, tea.  
_-Situation:  
_Messy, hungry, Cyborg and Beast Boy arguing, Robin disappeared, Star...disappeared?

-Free time:  
Watching TV, engulfing snacks, playing video games etc.  
_-Status:  
_Quiet reading.  
_-Alternative:  
_Observing a rather entertaining a battle between robot hybrid and green changeling gladiators.  
_-Situation:  
_Broken stuff, Cyborg and Beast Boy rolling around each other, Robin quiet, Star...subdued?

-Dinner:  
More scraps.  
_-Status:  
_Didn't care too much to even look at any offered 'food'.  
_-Alternative:  
_Leftover biscuits, tea.  
_-Situation:  
_Stomachs on protest, Beast Boy literally snaking beneath the couch for any fallen crumbs, almost cannibal-like Cyborg seeking meat, Robin seems happy, Star...cheeks heated and happy? Raven, very dumbfounded...and craving for some more tea.

-CONCLUSION:  
Normal, typical day at Titans Tower. Except the immense blushing and the daydream trance in the air.

-DECISIONS:  
Make Beast Boy and Cyborg go grocery shopping, properly WITH proper shopping lists.

-AIMS:  
Meditate the whole night, clear mind, get rid of the newly found emotions. For good.

-

That emotion I've been experiencing, I think it had a mate, 'cause it's breeding. Yes, B.R.E.E.D.I.N.G.

One was enough to keep me occupied, but now there're more than one.

When I was meditating_-trying to meditate-_ and others, well, mostly arguing about something so ridiculous that one wouldn't understand why they made a big fuss out of something so normal in the first place. Beast Boy and Cyborg were the main actors in the bickering, no surprise, and I just happened to notice something going on with Robin.

He was...twitchy?

The leader of the fierce Teen Titans was twitchy?

What?

At first I ignored it, must be one of those 'Robin-Slade' business. Maybe a nightmare about Slade becoming his bridegroom. Who knows? He gets kind of touchy when it comes to Slade anyway. So, naturally, I just gave him the silent treatment. It always seemed to work, so why not.

Then at lunch, he disappeared.

Just like that.

And more interestingly, Starfire was gone too.

We were all too hungry to actually care too much, though I was a bit worried. I'm not much of a softie, but it's not like them to just go missing at lunch. After all, they have a big appetite. They all do.

Then the leisure time. Everyone else was enjoying this crime-free afternoon and putting it to a good use. Like, wasting it away in front of the mega sized TV and games. It wasn't boring though, no, rather entertaining, giving me a thought on how the emperors of Rome must have been addicted to the fights between gladiators. As Beast Boy and Cyborg demonstrated.

Robin and Star were back and all was well.

They entered the room together. Hand in hand. Smiling ear to ear. Blushing cheek to cheek.

Funny sight.

Makes you really think.

For the rest of the afternoon, neither of them said too much, only things like, 'No, yes, no thanks, thanks,'. And staring into distance and sighing continuously.

Huh.

They carried on in this state. They sat next to each other while dinner was served, what was left of it.

I'm making sure that Beast Boy and Cyborg go shopping for food. Food. Not junks and scraps.

So I was left alone, sitting and eating my half-biscuits and a cup of tea which suited me fine. Beast Boy and Cyborg, hunting down food, though it really was no use and Star and Robin eating together, sharing a little something which was too small for sharing. Then, hesitantly Robin put an arm around Star and beamed at her. Starfire's eyes grew wide then her whole face lit up like a red bulb.

That was when it hit.

I was suddenly angry. Or was I angry?

All I know for sure was that there was this thing, born and bubbling. No, maybe it existed long before but maybe...I've been pressing down on it like everything else. Till now, and it was eating at my consciousness and cool. I saw RED.

If the mug in front of me didn't clatter on the table, the result of me losing control, I would have done something big. Not good.

So I breathed and scolded myself. For the umpteenth time this week, I asked to myself, _'What's happening to me?'_

Everyone was happy. Except the fact that they were hungry, they were happy. So why the hell was I feeling_ this_?

That's it. If I don't do something about this soon, it'll grow into something hideous and out of my control. Like the other, original emotion did.

I scanned the others around me. Happy-go-lucky caring people. My teammates. Could I risk them? Could I bear looking at their bodies which have stopped breathing and with knives impaled in their foreheads? Just because of my stupid uncontrollable powers?

Simple answers were no, no and yes.

I have to get rid of this feeling and the others. Soon as possible. No matter how much I...enjoy _feeling_ this way.

Maybe...I could-

No, surely.

Tonight.

-

"Did you know Fallen Star? Raven is a sorceress. Isn't that tempting? She's a witch…" ever watchful figure sat out in the cool night air, the same spot claimed as her watch out.

A gleeful smirk rose to her lips as the subject in question appeared through the door and onto the roof of the Titans' tower. "And I do love magic tricks…"

-

Raven sat.

The way she usually did when she was meditating, sat away far and distant from everything around her. Off in her own little world existing within her mind.

"Azarath...Metrion...Zinthos..."

Those three repetitive words must have been the ones which escaped her mouth the most. She was not much of a talker and probably will never be in future either. What was there to say? Nothing much if you really thought and chewed on the idea.

Not much at all.

But now, even those three words seemed to rest on her lips. She seldom even breathed.

It was chilly before sunrise; especially around shores and her rare breath seeped out from her mouth and lingered a while in the air as puffs of steam and greedily got absorbed into the night surrounding her.

Peace.

Occasionally, a vehicle sped across the road near by, probably containing a rider who wants to get home ASAP and rest with their kin, sheltered from cold outside with hope of a hot chocolate waiting for them. Maybe even expecting hugs and kisses by their loved ones.

Then all was silent again. Leaving Raven in the opposite, quite different thoughts than of the riders'.

Quiet.

The night was surprisingly crisp and clear. White stars, the slivery full moon, the moonlight, the city lights, and everything was reflected and mirrored onto the calm and still water below, which was the same hue as the sky above; dark velvety indigo.

Tranquility.

It was just ticks away from dawn and while everyone was snug in their beds and dreaming, or catching a late night movie with their family and friends while somewhere near the fire would be giving off soft warmth throughout the room, gently radiating sleepiness and comfort.

And there was this girl. Her fair skin glowing almost eerily in the soft light. Delicate eyelids covering the deep set dark eyes from the world. Her posture seeming uncomfortable and stiff; legs crossed in Indian style with hands placed above her knees. Her overall dark clothing seemed unsuitable for the chilly night air. Dark violet hair gliding in the wind ever so lightly and the red gemstone on her forehead coruscated in the light as if it was one with the stars. Floating mere inches off the Titans Tower, she sat and breathed.

Serenity.

She was something else. She was alone. She wasn't surrounded by her loved ones or warmth. She wasn't comforted.

She was Raven.

She seemed to be completely oblivious to the beautiful and serene night. It was one of those perfect moments which came and went ever so rarely, one of those moments when lovers proposed over flowers, music, poems and dinners.

Calm.

Her concentration was on full blast. In this peaceful, quiet, tranquil, serene and calm night, she was annihilating, blowing to bits, crushing, demolishing, desolating, shattering, wiping out...extinguishing.

That emotion. That devilish thing that almost murdered Starfire.  
She had to get rid of it. For good.

Emptying out...and erasing the emotion and anything else similar.

The time when Raven was fighting off Trigon with Beast Boy and Cyborg in her mind, Star said later that she was so worried and gave her a relieved smile...a slight twitch of the similar feeling.

She erased it.

The time when Raven and Starfire's body got switched and how Star taught her to fly with her hand in hers...the time when they succeeded in rescuing the boys from the Puppet King, Star gave her a hug...the feeling grew.

She erased it.

The time when Star was piping mad because Robin took Kitten to the prom...Raven felt something a tad different. But nonetheless dangerous.

She erased it.

The time when Star was so close of getting married and becoming someone else's...that feeling flourished, making her want to rip the disgusting green blob to shreds.

She erased it.

The time when she found out Robin having a thing for Star and vise versa...she felt her insides ripping, gnawing, boiling. Wanting to be in Robin's place.

She erased it.

The time when Star offered Raven breakfast and leant in whilst caressing her cheek...it went out of control.

She erased it.

"Azarath...Metrion...Zinthos..."

All was erased. She made sure.

The memory of it all, she pressed it down. The emotions which made her heart beat so fast and break lose; she pressed them down by their necks. She killed them all. Forgot them.

As the Eastern horizon brightened, Raven slowly parted her eyelids and absentmindedly her lips reformed the words, "Azarath Metrion Zinthos..."

At that moment, the sun broke out, sending out gleams of red, orange, yellow, purple, pink, gray...throwing away the rich indigo. Raven sighed in wonder and stared. It reminded of her. The dawn colors, it was made up of all these tints. Sometimes, the orange took over the red, later on, the yellow taking over the orange. Trying desperately to take over. Somehow going out of control.

It was just like her.

Finally snapping out of it, she yawned rather uncharacteristically and stretched her stiff arms and legs parallel in front of her. Raven slowly got onto her feet and looked at the nature wonder. She smiled. It must have been around about six in the morning already. The other Titans would be still in bed with dreams of video games, new gadgets, fan girls, upside down pink fairyland or whatever similar.

However as she herself once admitted, she was never alone. A pair of half lidded eyes trailed behind her from somewhere afar, with another pair of golden eyes which the titans had come to trust and believe. Raven would never know. She mustn't find out. The female observer held her tongue slightly between her teeth, her lips parted and smiling sinisterly after Raven as the new sunlight softly gleamed off her glamorous semi metal outfit.

"C'mon Raven, what are you afraid of. What are you denying? What are you trying to figure?"

She reached out and with the same index finger she'd always counted down the columns of windows and traced over the small figure of the tired sorceress, biting at her lower lip as if to hold down an over excited smirk. "No matter, I'll soon give you a hand or two,"

The form slowly retrieved backwards into the safety of a dark corner as Raven moved to turned to her direction.

She'll never know. She mustn't find out. At least, not yet.

-

Raven stretched for one last time, shivered and realized how cold she was for the first time in ten hours. Pulling the hood back on, she made for the door leading down to the inside of the tower. As she descended the stairs, the new sunlight glowed on the back of her cloak and disappeared, and so did the recent emotions which had settled within Raven;

Jealousy, hatred and love.

What she didn't realize, and couldn't realize, was that she'd erased more than just that.

----

trickNtreat: You know, while I was writing the part about Tamaran, I got reminded of the Smurfs and their village. Yeah, those 'cute' little blue things that scurry around everywhere.

Then I decided, I wouldn't want to live in Tamaran.


	5. Aspects of 'love'

CHAPTER5

Author: trickNtreat - currently sipping at piping hot tea...and writing at the same time.  
I'm so cool, I decided ever so triumphantly. XD

----

"What the..." Raven grimaced at a sudden spasm of headache and slammed a hand on the side of her head while the other on the wall of the staircase to keep her balance. As soon as it came, the nauseous pain went away, leaving Raven rubbing confusedly at her head which felt like being hammered a minute ago. After rubbing at her head for some time, Raven shrugged it off and proceeded down the stairs. She tiredly yawned under her hand and muttered, "Must the cold..."

-

Raven made her way down to the kitchen as quietly as possible, in attempts to not awaken her still sleeping teammates, not that she wasn't always quiet. She just wanted a few more minutes to herself, in peace and quiet. After all, these special golden moments were indeed rare in the Titans Tower.

As the doors leading into the living room via kitchen obeyed and slid opened for her, Raven stifled yet another yawn as she walked into the kitchen. Almost absentmindedly, she reached out and grabbed the tea mug she always used from the dish rack, in the same way she'd always do.

As she waited for the water to boil in the electronic kettle, Raven rubbed at her head again. Her headache usually came with Beast Boy, tofu, spatula, toenail clippers or Cyborg and Beast Boy. Or lately just Starfire, but this one was something she couldn't put full description or understanding on. Different.

A bell within Raven rang, told her something was up. Something in her guts told her. Preferably something not good.

She snapped out of her little thought as the kettle whistled and gurgled. Fixing herself a cup, she thought of what today might bring other than obvious bickering and pecking of her forehead which would bring more headache. Honestly, sometimes she wondered why crime couldn't occur daily and keep her occupied, giving her headache a break.

Sighing almost in pity of herself, she picked up the mug by its side and made her way to the lounge where the couch and coffee table greeted her, coaxing her to rest her fatigue body. Raven floated over and sank down deep into the couch and heaved yet another sigh, this time out of contentment and comfort. With her first sip, she remembered a pact she made the day before.

She wrapped both her hands around the mug as she teleported a piece of paper and a stubby pencil from nearby. Once they were both laid on the table before her, she slowly and reluctantly took her hands off the warm mug, placing it distractedly on the table and massaged her cold hands while staring down at the paper, wondering what she should write. As a thought shot into her head, she stopped warming her hands and grasped the mug again with her hand, picking up the pencil in the other while a smile tugged at her lips, placing the tip of the pencil a top of the paper.

She indeed hadn't done this before. It was always either Robin or...well, only Robin. Him being leader and the sensible one and all. At the thought of her leader, Raven suddenly pressed down the pencil tip harder against the paper, as if pressing down on his face. What he could do, she could do.

Almost instantly as the thought of Robin crossed her mind, it was replaced by a question mark. Robin was her leader, the team's leader. Despite his height, he deserved to be called the Teen Titans' leader. Most of the times. Why the sudden jealousy? Instantly making a face, she quickly drank from her mug and placed it back down, propping her left elbow on the table as she rested her chin in her palm.

She stared down at the pencil tip as it moved across the page and wrote down her thoughts directly onto it.

Tea.

Stumped, Raven lowered the pencil and bit her lower lip as her eyes moved about, trying to think up more to write. Another subject flashed by, jerking her out of her trance and once again scribbling on...

Bread, butter, milk...

-

Deep within the tower, in one of the many rooms, a green changeling dragged himself out of his messed up bed with even messier hair. He grumbled as his feet touched the ground and pushed himself up with what strength he had. Rubbing at his eye and stretching some, Beast Boy slouched towards his door with his arms dangling without structure in front of him.

Amidst the faint light filtering underneath the door, he spotted something stark white in front of it. In mid yawn, he slumped towards it with slight interest and picked it up. Not surprisingly, something was written on it. He was hoping it to be a fan letter but as his eyes traveled further down the paper, his face contorted in confusion and all the drowsiness in him left.

"Tea…butter, milk?"

-

"Titans, assemble to the main atrium a.s.a.p.!"

Raven grumbled as the loud and obvious Robin's voice sounded out from who knows where and red lights flashed, accompanied by even louder siren. As much as she hated being disrupted from her reading, Raven just had to smile. Only on missions would Robin speak on that level of formality. Just 'Titans, in the main room, now' would have been fine and fitted him much more than the freakishly formal command. She wasn't at all sure if the others understood what he was saying at times, especially the ones with less intelligence quotient and people of different planet inheritance.

Slowly rising from her bed, she spotted her smiling feature in the mirror and her face dropped. Cocking her head just a bit, she scowled. Smiling didn't suit her; she hadn't smiled in awhile, let alone see herself smile in flesh. Walking up to the mirror amidst the flashing light, she stood in front of it and tried to smile again. She stared for a moment and laughed at the unnatural and ridiculous sight.

"Titans! In the main room! NOW!"

Raven stifled the laugh as Robin's slightly edgier voice jerked out.

"Fine, fine...hold onto your balls, I'm comin'," rolling her eyes and floating out of her room, Raven didn't seemed to have noticed her carefree grinning feature reflected up on the mirror or the uncharacteristic comment she has just made.

-

_'It seems like Control Freak is back in media. Worse, looks like he's got some minions of his own to celebrate his break out, they're partying all over the city. Fatal mistake though, Control Freak is leaving a trail of his mishap of party animals as he's parading around. Airborne units will trace their movement up the city and take care of the host, the rest will follow on foot and rid of the trail left behind. Titans, GO!'_

Robin's commands were still fresh and ringing in Starfire's head as she traveled on air to their location with her other so called 'airborne units'. She glanced over at her left and saw Beast Boy, in the form of a crow and flapping away almost too peacefully for the occasion. To his left, Raven flew with her hood lowered as usual. Star's vision stayed on Raven and tried to read the emotion on her hidden feature but knew it was a hopeless attempt. Even if she knew, it certainly wouldn't be what she was hoping it to be.

Below her were indeed visible tracks of the monstrous walking media and technology, leaving masses of smoke and destruction in their wake as the group advanced in a line and followed their creator; Control Freak. She turned and studied Raven's face one more time before they all swooped down towards the head of the massive trail. Her face, it would be devoid of any emotion—was her final conclusion. She knew that much. Giving up her hope, Starfire turned her attention to the route down below and prepared for the battle up ahead.

Raven once again felt eyes on her. There seemed to be no privacy at all around her these days, but at least she knew whose eyes were on her this time. Trying not to be spotted, she shifted her head just a little but enough to capture Starfire's form. She was looking down to where the action was held and where Raven was so desperately wanting to be to kick some ass and break some limbs. Star's expression was caught somewhere between wanting to understand and wishing for something that for a fact wasn't going to happen. Her expression looked, at least to Raven, depressed but adorable at the same time. Shaking her head slightly and smiling some, Raven too turned her eyes towards the chaos below. No wonder Robin had a thing for her.

_'What are you thinking about Star?'_

-

"They really are morons, down to their marrows," a bored drawl of a woman's voice hung in the empty tower of the Teen Titans. A squawk accompanied by flapping of a set of wings was the only reply to the intruder.

The ever watchful stranger now stood in the titans' lounge she'd always observe from afar—overlooking the rising smoke and the occasional explosions of the city. It was a nice view.

"It's a great chance then, for such a being as myself to teach them what _intelligence_ is capable of," arrogantly raising her head, she glided over to the rows of tea mugs and cups hanging cleanly off the rack. Her hand passed over them and she picked a particular one up, it was void of colors and dull compared to its lined up counterparts. Her lips curled into a deviant smirk.

-

Beast Boy shifted back into his normal state as he descended upon the ground along with the two female titans beside him. The citizens have already evacuated themselves out of the harm's reach which left the city a free battlefield, a good news for the heroes. Beast Boy nodded a silent signal to the other two and dug underneath the ground as an armadillo while both Raven and Starfire took flight as the earth beneath their feet started to gradually shake from the advancing parade of technology. Anxious from the battle and from Raven herself, Starfire unsurely glanced towards Raven. Noticing the girl's uneasiness, Raven flashed a genuine and assuring grin, applied a wink and a thumbs up directed at Starfire before readying herself as the parade's leader's form slowly began to show over the vibrating horizon.

Dumbfounded and doubting her sight, Starfire gawked at Raven. _'Has Raven just...showed a sign of delight?'_

Deciding to believe her vision for now, Star positioned herself also with a renewed confidence and with a matching smile.

The regrettably familiar obese man with the infamous 'couch potato' flab hanging off his mid section came into view, with a remote control in both his hands and an army of enormous electronic appliances and even enlarged forms of comic and cartoon characters alike, smashing and stomping out buildings on either side. Once again, Starfire gawked at the sight.

Unfortunately, titans' element of surprise went to waste as Control Freak discovered the girls

"Ah! We have guests already? Now now, that's a no way to dress for my welcome back celebration. Fellow party doers, what say we make these two lovely ladies more suitable for partying?" The man's unfitting squeaky speech ended with an equally annoying laugh as the gigantic squad behind him leapt forward to attack the two. So the battle started.

Raven was the first to jump into assault. She kicked off into the air as an electric cord whipped at the place she was levitating a moment ago. As if sensing her movement, several cords flung themselves towards Raven. The cords missed her and rammed themselves into a nearby building, thick dust bursting out of shattering windows.

"Getting physical, are we?" Raven's voice sounded in the midst of the blur, "Not a good idea. I've been cooped up inside that tower of ours without any stress relief or any food. Not a good idea..."

Her voice trailed off as she moved around the smoky cloud, trying to find the machine's weakness. All the while, the machine flailed its free cords in panic in hopes of one of them colliding with Raven. Once she got a strategy planned up in her head, she smirked sinisterly and headed upwards, letting the stuck cords guide her up towards the machine's vital point in the smog. Dodging some misguided cords, she reached the joint where the cords and the main gears met. Raven thrust her hands into the joint and let her powers loose, screaming her known enchantment. The machine seemed to slow down its pathetic attempts of flinging off Raven until it stopped completely, its flailing cords thudding down onto the ground below like heavy rain. Soon every joint on the machine gave out a strange dark hue before exploding in white hot light, sending parts of itself like bullets—the speeding parts collided with other machines and strange cartoon characters, bringing down even the 2dimentional batman Starfire was engaged in a battle with.

A stray remnant piece went shooting for Starfire.

Too surprised and finding out too late, all Starfire could do was to try and guard herself. She quickly brought up her forearms in a cross in front of her face for a poor but the best attempt she could put up for protection, and all she could do now was to wait for it to come. It was going to hurt.

She waited but it never came. Slowly lifting her face, Starfire's eyes grew wide. Raven stood in front of her, hands stretched wide in front of her and her dark powers shielding out every assault their enemies sent their way in a form of a dome.

Shielding out the whole world which was now in black inside Raven's protection—everything looked dead in the color black. Completely lowering her defenses, Starfire stood and didn't know what to do; to attack the enemies from inside the shield, but what if the shield was indestructible from the inside _and_ out, her powers getting trapped within the dome and resulting a suicide for both her and Raven?

As if again sensing Star's nerves, Raven talked to her without turning around, "Sorry, my bad. Just relax while you can Star. If Beast Boy isn't as senseless as I think he is, then we'll be alright..."

Starfire seemed to doubt her hearing now. She couldn't remember the last time Raven actually communicated with her in battles or start a conversation herself. Maybe this was the first. Feeling the guilt and sense of heaviness for uncomforting Raven lifted off Star's chest at the sudden change of Raven's attitude. Relaxing as told, Starfire almost sighed out, "Thank you Raven,"

Turning her head around this time, Raven gave Star a puzzled look then shrugged, "You're welcomed for...whatever you're thanking me about,"

Raven smiled, for what seemed like to be more times than she ever smiled in her life, let alone in one day. Starfire smiled back, a warm spot growing somewhere in her heart.

The downpour of cords and wacky 2dimentional weapons were continuously rebounding and exploding off Raven's temporary shield as Control Freak fretted on his remote controls and screeching out orders.

"Grrr, where the hell is Beast Boy?" Raven growled as her left arm gave away and groaned as it tried to support her right arm which was the only thing keeping the shield up, hers and Starfire's only safety. Seeing the companion and friend in agony, Starfire ran to aid Raven. Just when she got behind Raven's crouched form to hold up her arms for her, the ground beneath them shuddered again. Fearing the worst, both Raven and Starfire grasped each other as they fell to the ground with their eyes clenched shut, the dark safety around them fading. The earth beneath them crumbled and they fell onto a new surface. Wind rustled past their skin and felt their weight leaving them, as if losing gravity.

When nothing happened when something painful should have, Raven opened her eyes. She gasped at what she saw. She seemed to have grown a few thousand meters, she was staring in the face of one of the humungous machines. Feeling a spasm of panic and chill, she gripped tighter at what she was gripping from the start that gave her security. Strangely, the thing was warm. Warm ,soft and she could feel a pulse. A heartbeat. Another sort of fear shot up to her heart, freezing her solid. What if Control Freak was taking her hostage on one of his weird inventions? What if she was to never see her teammates again? What if he was the one she's holding onto and cradling her!

Raven shot up her head to shout or yell in his face to scare him off but instead she was staring at something Control Freak couldn't have. As a matter of fact, men couldn't have.

Bust. Breast. Heck, call them whatever, her head was buried in them. Had Control Freak had a sex change or something in the last thirty seconds? Gripping even tighter, Raven gritted her teeth and brought up all the courage in her to look up even more to see her capturer's face, but alas, her sight was blocked out of the well developed bosoms.

_'Pervert...'_ was all that registered Raven's mind when she realized a firm grip on her waist. But...wasn't she who was implanted in 'his' chest and gawking at them? _'Well, it's not like I have any choice now do I?'_

The surface she was sitting on was moving and letting out a strange noise she was familiar with. So pulling her courage together again, Raven pulled away from the hug and to look at the face of her capturer properly. The next, she wasn't prepared for or expected.

Hers and Starfire's eyes locked. Starfire being the taller frame, had an arm around Raven, gripping onto her waist. The other holding tightly onto Raven's hand which was on the forearm of Starfire's, and was currently locked with Raven's. From this close proximity, they had raised their heads to stare at each other.

Physically they said nothing, though meaningless voices were bouncing off inside their heads endlessly. So close, so close, too close, tooclosetooclose…

Starfire laughed nervously and broke their physical silence first, "Um, haha, hello Raven. It is...great to see you?"

Raven blinked out of her trance and replied without letting go of her grip, "Likewise..."

Without both of them fully conscious, almost a natural instinct, Raven's grip was getting tighter as their faces were advancing towards each other in unsure motion. Eye closing, lips parting...

But their grips and holds were released as the floor beneath them jerked hard and a pained howling was heard. Raven was all on fours as she tried to recollect what was happening. First of all, the so called 'floor' was green with little bumps everywhere. Like goose bumps currently on her skin. She wasn't cold, why the goose bumps? She rubbed at her arm to rid her skin of strangely occurred bumps on her arms and realized she was on a green T-Rex, which was ripping and gnawing at the never-ending line of monstrosity but getting attacked twice with every assault attempted.

Beast Boy needed help. Raven swung her head around to where Starfire dazedly half laid down from the sudden jerk, her torso supported up on her elbows. Forgetting everything but to take down the source of unlimited technology, Raven stood up as quick as she could and grabbed the bewildered Starfire's wrist.

Without even preparing Star with a plan, Raven jumped off the unnaturally green tyrannosaurus in one hand out stretched, glowing black with energy and in the other Starfire. Star soon readied herself too with a starbolt gathered in her free hand. Their minds were both set on the source of the destruction; Control Freak.

Righteous anger settled in Star as her eyes glowed a fluorescent green. The said couch potato was not hard to spot at all, screaming in joy as his strange combination of cartoons and machines pummeled the weakening green dinosaur.

Raven let go of her hold on Star as she gathered her energy in both of her palms. Starfire and Raven's gaze met once again, both just staring for a moment before blinking and nodding. Stafire's hands were filled with full starbolts, ready for firing. When she aimed for Control Freak from the air and was about to fire, a cord off track struck her from behind, with a surprised scream, Starfire's starbolts were astrayed and away from her current target.

Noticing this in a flash, Raven chanted her incantation, "Azarath, Metrion...ZINTHOS!"

Hurling her arms behind her head and bringing them down as quickly as she could, her energies wrapped around Star's stray starbolts and guided them back on course. Clear glowing pure green surrounded by a soft black gleam, they sped and collided with the remote controls in Control Freak's hands. A piercing scream went up as there were whirs of machines shutting down and cartoons fluttering to the floor like giant confetti.

Then there was silence.

-

When Raven, Starfire and Robin returned to the tower after kicking Control Freak back into the big house, Cyborg and Beast Boy were in the kitchen with grocery bags on the counter. Cy, currently gulping down a can of drink turned and gave them a pleasant grin as they entered into the living room. Beast Boy on the other hand, constantly rubbed the back of his neck with complaint written all over him.

"Dude, I still can't believe this. While I saved the girls, you two 'brave men' were just trying to catch up to the end of the line all this time! And when you get there, what do you find? Everything solved already! This is so unfair...and I had to go grocery shopping. And I'm not getting paid for doing this either! Can YOU believe this?" Beast Boy spilled his complaints while the other titans moved about to their favorite places to be after a crime fought.

Groaning because no-one was taking his pain seriously, Beast Boy just slumped onto a stool and went through the grocery he just heaved up ten or so stories.

"Relax man, I went with you. Don't take all the credits yourself," Cyborg took the last sip from the can, "Besides, it wasn't our fault we couldn't fly there and rescue you,"

Beast Boy just snorted and carried on rummaging through the plastic bags. His search became more desperate as the object he was looking for wasn't found.

Suddenly stopping, Beast Boy stood and walked speedily over to Cyborg. Cyborg seemed a little freaked by Beast Boy's sudden action and took a step back, but instead of settling some sort of score with the bigger teen like Cyborg was expecting, Beat Boy snatched the forgotten paper held in Cyborg's hand. As he went through the list, his face turned pale. Looking up at Cyborg with disbelief on his face, he went through the paper yet again, this time more frantic.

"Huh?!"

"What's up?" Cybord regained his composure and tossed the empty can into the bin, peering over Beast Boy's shoulder.

"There's no tofu on this thing!" Beast Boy lifted his head and shook the shopping list in front of Cyborg's face.

Snatching the paper away from the swearing changeling, Cyborg calmly went through the list, but soon, he too lost his calm demeanor, "No 10 pound ribs neither!"

"Who wrote this anyway?" Beast Boy fumed. He had had enough for today, and a wrong shopping list was the worst icing on his cake. Now, someone, probably him and Cy would have to go shop for the missing and vital supplies again. Both glared at the paper until the answer crashed into them. Only one person wrote shopping lists for the titans.

"ROBIN!" They both made a beeline for the training room to consult.

As they grumbled and stomped past Raven's door, she stood with her back to it, trying not so hard to withhold her soft smile. "Oops,"

-

Everything was at right now. Underneath the night sky and atop of the Titans Tower, the titans were preparing for a party of their own. A barbeque.

The boys were putting the grill together, Beast Boy ignoring the mechanic of the bunch, Cyborg, which resulted in a obvious quarrel once again and Robin chasing after them both, trying to pry off the parts of the grill from being used as a weapon. Same old usual.

Starfire decided to watch awhile but then found herself looking for Raven. For some reason she sought her companionship tonight. Floating about aimlessly, Starfire searched for her, but when she knocked on Raven's door and no reply came, she knew that was as far as she goes.

Feeling just a little disheartened, Star returned to the top of the tower where the boys seemed to be making a little more progress. It would still take awhile to settle their arguments however so she gave up on Robin's company and decided to wait for the grill to be perfected on the bank, where the city was visible in a panoramic view, with calm water surrounding the whole area.

Starfire glided off from the tower and down onto the bank with a surprise waiting for her. Raven already sat there with her knees drawn up and arms crossed atop, staring off into the distance, apparently in a deep thought. Not wanting to disrupt her, Starfire sat back a little way off from Raven and stared at whatever she was staring at. Even though she was quiet, Raven seemed to have heard her arrival and greeted her in a friendly way. Or as friendly as Raven could get, which was a lot more than Starfire thought possible these days.

"Hey Star," greeted Raven, not taking her eyes off of the horizon.

Starfire shifted her knees and arms so they were in a similar way as Raven's and placed her cold cheek onto her folded arms, "Good evening to you too Raven,"

They remained silent for awhile, staring out into the vast blackness with nothing on their minds for the moment.

This time, Raven broke the silence with a sigh and placed her chin on her own folded arms, watching her breath turning into mist, "What do you want to talk about Star?"

Starfire slowly raised her head to look at Raven then lowered it back with a smile. Raven wanted a conversation and was inviting her to it. Thinking about what she needed reassuring on, Starfire thought up a topic which only her gender might understand. Childishly she thought, maybe only Raven might understand.

"Well, if it is all right with you Raven...I wish to know, some aspects of 'Love'," it was hard for her to bring the subject up, seeing as Raven didn't at all seemed to like movies, books or poems relating to romance as far as she knew.

Raven raised her head up and straightened her back, looking at Starfire a bit bewildered and then, as realization hit her, she smiled.

"Ah, I almost forgot. Robin and you. How are things going?" Raven asked, once again her gaze fixed on the same spot she's been staring at for at least past half an hour.

Starfire too focused her gaze onto the horizon and almost whispered, "It is going great. I still do not understand the whole concept of 'going out'. He is more protective of me and should I say more physical?"

Then came something Starfire did not expect. Raven laughing. She had _never_ heard Raven laugh. She wondered why Raven didn't do so more often after hearing it. It was pleasant.

Slowly seizing her laughter, shaking her head slightly Raven said with a smile which seemed to be permanent recently, "Physical? Eager to please I see… Things are taking off quickly for you Star. That Robin...I didn't know he had it in him. I'll give him that,"

Raven paused for a moment and looked to Starfire as if she was contemplating how she was going to shape her answers so she could understand with ease.  
Raven's intense gaze was now wholly on her. Star's insides gave a jolt as she met her sharp eyes. Just a jolt, and then mellow comfort. Like getting electrified and the lightheadedness that came as an aftermaths.

Once again though, Raven changed her focus onto the distance, her eyes sort of glazed.

"Love is a wonderful thing Star. You know when you're in love when everything seems beautiful. Then again, it could turn your life upside down and tear you apart until it hurts so much that you just want to give up. With the person you love, you can think you're capable of doing anything, everything. Without, you're weak and insignificant. You constantly want to be with the person you care about, hold onto their hands, their hearts. So they can never leave you. You wish for the time to stop when you're content in their arms. When you're addicted to that person, when you just can't get enough of that person, you know you're in love,"

Starfire was deeply taken aback at Raven's reply. Raven didn't seem the person to think so deeply and feel so deeply. Does this mean...

"Raven, forgive me if I am being intrusive, but, have you...ever been in love?"

Raven thought through Star's question carefully in her head as she tilted her chin to the stars above and gave a reply which appeared to be the triggering something hurtful.

"I used to think...love is pointless. Maybe I still do, I don't know. It gets you down and makes you weak. It's so…undefined and…" Raven waved her hand around as an attempt to make her words flow better but seemed to fail as she chuckled some and sighed as she corrected her eyes back to the dark horizon.

"But...someone proved it all wrong for me. They didn't even ask for permission ya know, don't you think that's really malicious of them? I wasn't supposed to feeling anything...that person made me feel everything. I hated the person for making me _feel_. And as usual, I think, I was being stupid and blew the whole thing. I can't even remember now, who I loved, who I'd have loved to confess to…

"The only thing I remember is...a vague outline, a blurred silhouette of that person. It's too distorted; I probably wouldn't be able to tell even if that person was to appear right in front of me. I doubt...if I wanna see them again…maybe I do, but I really doubt…"

Turning her head back down and onto her arms, Raven continued to stare out into the open water. There was no doubt about it. Right now, Raven in Starfire's eyes, was possibly the most sensitive being she'd encountered yet, no matter what Raven might have to say to that. Starfire was about to say something comforting and reached out to help her for the second time today but was interrupted by their leader calling them up, alerting them the barbeque 'party' was starting.

Raven told Starfire to go ahead, her head buried in her arms and her voice all muffled. Obviously stifling a tear. Determination set on Starfire's features as she grabbed Raven's wrist without any warning and drifted upwards, dangling Raven up behind her. As they made their way up, Starfire sent her teammate a grin. Raven saw and lowered her head to hide her wet eyes and a small smile.

Somewhere over head in the dark, a grey peregrine circled.

-----

trickNtreat: The plot will twist a little change in the next chapter. Hopefully it'll assist in helping the story to run a bit smoother. :D


End file.
